So, yesterday I went on a hike with a group
from Kudjip. The 12 of us "white skins" met at 6:00 am
and headed out to get our national guides for our hike to Kurumal.
We picked up Isaiah, a 3rd year Bible College student, at Tamban church
and got to see a glorious sunrise there.
I was feeling good and ready to enjoy a fun day of hiking with some friends, old and new. Erin, my physically fit, doctor friend, had told me that the hike was more difficult than the previous one we had went on, and there would be times we would hike straight up the mountain through peoples gardens and then hike back down again, and that we would cross the river a few times.
So I was prepared for it to be a tough hike,
but that explanation doesn't do it justice by any means!! I've seen
patients in the hospital that have fallen out of their garden, and sustained
major injures! Crazy to understand for this Midwestern girl, that falling
"out" of a garden is a real thing here. I'm also not in the
shape I was in college when ROTC hikes and strolls in State parks were
something I could accomplish with minor aches (and Illinois, Wisconsin, and
Washington are nothing like PNG!) But I have been swimming regularly
recently, getting some cardio and strength/flexibility in for my back and
feeling pretty good. I also love nature and getting any excuse to be off
station and enjoying it sounded great. Our last hike, with basically the same
people was at a nice pace, not overly fast, not rushed and had plenty of stops
for pictures and chatting with those we went by. I guess I though this is sort of what our day
would be like, just longer and a bit harder. Little did I know what was in store for
me!
It started out easy enough, good pace, wide enough,
well-used, packed dirt actual "trail." Then our group began to grow as we went. A few kids would join here, some ladies
there, a man as we crossed his garden, till we had about 51 people in our
crew. The trail took us higher, up more
narrow spots, and really wasn't a trail anymore, but worn down grass, and rocks
and mud. We got to those vertical
gardens and by now I have a man in front of me who must be a trained trail
guide. I don't know at what point he
decided he was going to be my personal guide but at some point he just made it
clear he was.
Now, I think of myself as a pretty easy going
person, but I also am very independent, and very use to doing things for myself,
and all by myself. I'm a nurse, a former
Army officer, a missionary, a first born child, an introvert, a 32 year old
single woman; I've done well, just me and Jesus, making things work so far. I kind
of had a hard time accepting his "help" the whole way up. I wanted to put my hand in one spot to push
up, he would grab my hand with a death grip, and pull me up. I'd let go, he would grab my hand again. All of this was done in a very respectful,
thoughtful manner, but I just could NOT do what I wanted to do, without this
man, or some small child, or who knows who else right there to "correct"
or "hinder" me! The pace was
no longer something I was in control of.
I was being dragged up a mountain I wished to climb. I couldn't stop to breathe when I wanted
to. I had to put my foot there, and not there. I couldn't get my hand out of his. I couldn't stop if I wanted to without ten
people crashing into me (at least it felt like this!) There was little shade at
this point and I was getting very hot and thirsty. I finally somehow was able to communicate
that I had to stop and got my hand free.
I was able to get some water then, but was so hot, stressed out and claustrophobic
and too many eyes were watching me that the shortness of breath I had had,
quickly turned into wheezing and now I was really panicking. Here I am on the side of a mountain, now
hours from medical help, and even with a doctor, a CRNA, and 4th
year medical student in the group, I knew none of that would matter if I couldn't
calm down and figure out how to make this work.
PRAYER. Short, and specific. The wheezing calmed down some, the water
helped and then Sid, the CRNA, a former Army man, and a dad, said the first
words I heard clearly in a while, "Sometimes the lessons we learn on these
things are not the ones we hoped for, humility…." I can't remember the
rest now, but that one word was enough to bring Philippians 2:3 to mind,
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above
yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of your to the interest
of others."
I had to let go of what I wanted to do. I had it fixed in my mind that I could do
this myself, but fighting for that was getting me nowhere. I resigned to the help. He wanted to help, I probably did need
it. Not being selfish in this instance
meant relying on those around me, and one man in particular. I still haven't sorted through all the implications
that can be taken from this like I like to do, but for me yesterday, that one
man, became a symbol of my pride. That man,
whose name I could never pronounce right even after three attempts and I have
no clue how to spell, wanted to help and I had to let him. I caught my breath, and then we moved again,
me still struggling with the whole issue, but determined to be humble. Once we
got to the top of that section, we were able to talk and worked out a plan a
little better to help them understand my pace and back issues and all, but a
lot of the success of the day just came from me reaching out and accepting the
offered hand, or foot hold or whatever it was.
And there were many of them, and many spots I still didn't want help but
it was there and I took it. I hated
having my hand held like that, but it was the lesson I needed yesterday.
I came to Papua New Guinea to teach and to serve and
go as He commanded, and I have done some of all that, but God wanted me to
learn something yesterday and receive some help. As I looked at the Philippians scripture
today for my personal study, I went back to the first verse of chapter two.
"Therefore if you have any
encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any
common sharing in the Spirit, if any
tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love, being one in the spirit and of one mind.” (Emphasis added) I received
encouragement, comfort, love, shared stories of our common faith, and got lots
of compassion yesterday. Pride goes
before the fall, and I fell a lot yesterday, and that pride is gone, along with
the backside of my pants, which now have a significantly large hole in them. Hard to have a lot of pride when you have to
borrow a shirt to cover your backside!
I'll say the hike to the waterfall was worth it, even though the uphill climb was tough, and going back down wasn't much easier, crossing slippery rocks in the river was difficult, and hanging on to barely a ledge alongside the river was crazy. I won't forget the hike, the views, the smiles, the lessons, the stress, or that hand that kept reaching back for mine.
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